Green Eyed Monster
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The Scourge of the Green Eyed Monster

Green Eyed Monster
Managing my Green Eyed Monster is something that I have to continually work at.

I imagine this will turn into quite a confessional and meandering post.

I should be doing other pieces of work but there is nothing more cathartic for me than writing out about something that it is bothering me.

Today it is something that can rear it’s ugly head regularly if I don’t work hard to counter it.

What am I alluding to?

Envy!

The scourge of the Green Eyed Monster!!

I have recently walked away from a very lucrative corporate job to pursue my dream of helping other Dads through the medium of Ideas4Dads.

I had no solid plan or income when I walked away from my job but I knew in my heart that I needed to go both for my own health and for the sake of keeping my family together.

To be true to myself and to enable me to be the hands on and involved Dad I have always wanted to be.

However, one of my afflictions in life is that of financial insecurity which links in with envy.

Walking away from a salaried corporate job with all the trimmings to having no income is hardly conducive to allaying these insecurities.

But I had to do it for the sake of my sanity and I know I won’t regret it.

And yet I can have days where I find my mind wandering.

Today has been one of those days.

Negative self talk tap tap tapping away in my head.

What have I done?

You’re not going to succeed!

You’re not good enough!!

Then my mind turns to comparing myself to others.

Oh the envy…..

That person has a larger house.

Has a nicer car.

Has larger alloys.

Is going on expensive holidays.

Is doing better than I am…..

This negative comparison list can go on ad infinitum.

With all that said and done I have to look at the positives of walking away from a corporate job that was demanding multiple pounds of flesh from me and the fact that I have been able to reboot my Dad experience and be present for my children.

We have had more special family moments in the last two months than we have had in the previous two years.

One surefire way I find that counters my envious thoughts is to write a daily gratitude list of all the great things I have in my life.

This daily practice really helps me to gain perspective and banish the feelings of envy.

Healthy children. A roof over our head. Food in the cupboards. Kids going to a great school. All our needs met. Money in the bank (despite me trying my best to think otherwise).

But my financial insecurities are screaming out that I don’t have an income even though I know if I keep doing the next right thing this will come.

If I just believe in myself.

We have savings to cover our overheads for a bit but I need to be generating an income from this blog.

But then there is the fear of failure (and success) with trying to make Ideas4Dads a success – but I think that’s a topic for another post ;-).

Do you suffer from the affliction of the Green Eyed Monster?

What do you do to tackle thoughts of envy when they rear their ugly head?

As always it would be great to hear from you with your comments below πŸ™‚

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35 thoughts on “The Scourge of the Green Eyed Monster”

  1. Easier said than done, but comparing ourselves with others is not healthy … especially when you compare upwards, to those who have more. You made choices which you knew would mean less money, but with riches elsewhere, in terms of time with your kids and so on. Don’t forget those benefits and just do the best you can, for you and yours. Don’t mind others #GlobalBlogging

  2. This is definitely a common theme in my life – both envy for myself and on behalf (how crazy is that?) of my children. I have written about it on my blog as well and am working on it. So nice to hear the perspective of a dad. Thanks. Visiting you today from the hooks and dragons link up. laurensparks.net

    1. I so get that about being envious on behalf of my kids which then extends in to guilt that I’ve not provided more despite that my girls are some of the happiest you’ll ever meet. The human mind can be a cruel thing skewing perspective.

  3. It sounds like you have all the answers to your own questions, just believe in yourself and make it happen. I do get it though, we both (husband and I) walked away from great salaried jobs for the sake of wanting to see our family to set up Coombe Mill, it was a huge leap of faith and a costly one too, but 16 years later I can safely say I don’t regret a thing. You can’t pull back those early family years, once you miss them that’s it they are gone, I can look back now with so many fond memories with my kids that weren’t there for the early years of the eldest when I was in corporate life. In years to come it will be that corporate bod with the big house and big car and few family memories that will be the one with envy. Sorry for the essay in a comment, but follow your heart on this one. #CoolMumsClub

    1. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Am having good days and bad days where self doubt and thoughts of what have I done creep in. I am just focusing on doing the next right thing. Really appreciate you taking the time to share your story πŸ™‚

  4. Yep, I get this, although probably more about other mums who look amazing all the time, seem to have it together, have time to work out, and don’t do the school run in jogging bottoms and a holey top with jammy finger marks on one shoulder. It’s daft to compare ourselves to other people – ultimately we all have our own worries don’t we? Maybe the dude with the big house and the alloys is worried he’s losing his hair? Or has difficulty bonding with his kids on a regular basis? It sounds like you have lots to be envious of too. I hope you’re feeling better since this crisis of confidence, sounds like you’re doing a great job xxx #coolmumclub

  5. Im quite lucky in the sense that the green eyed monster doesn’t visit that often. Although it would be nice to have nice holidays and a bit of money in the bank as a safety blanket, I am greatful for the things I do have. When I get envious its usually less material things, someones artistic ability, writing ability etc
    #coolmumsclub

  6. I totally relate to this! Damn that negative self talk and green eyed monster. Our minds can be our worst enemies sometimes. I try to bop those thoughts firmly on the head when they come along. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub – which I know wish was called #coolmumanddadclub(but that’s too long lol!) because you are very welcome! πŸ™‚

    1. You cant beat a good bopping of negative thoughts. Lol don’t worry not letting any ‘Mum exclusive’ blogging things put me off. I’ll just keep turning up until I’m told not too πŸ™‚

  7. I took voluntary redundancy over a year ago and I still question if it was the right thing to do. I had no job lined up and was convinced that I’d find myself a good little part time job. I didn’t so created my own cleaning business, which is good because I work hours to suit myself, set my own rate of pay etc, but there’s no sickness pay, no holiday pay etc & I worry how long it will last. It’s easy to envy others, but I also think others envy me for the flexibility my job offers & I’m able to pick my girls up from school every day which is an added bonus! Great post! Thanks for joining in with #ThatFridayLinky

    1. Massive well done on seizing the initiative and starting your own business. Awesome. It’s all about perspective and sounds like you are rocking it πŸ‘ I truly believe you can’t put a value on being present in your children’s formative years πŸ™‚

    1. It certainly can. If I remain focused on what I do have in my life then my state of mind remains much better for doing so πŸ‘Œ

  8. Not envy, but worry. I know I am hurtling towards a pension crisis. I know friends of mine who have much more lucrative careers and worry about the impact my life choices could have on me. I have definitely never worried about someone having bigger alloys than on our car (wouldn’t be difficult). A dose of self doubt, however, is not necessarily a bad thing. Keeps ego in check and is a powerful energy to constantly do better. #thatfridaylinky

  9. I can relate to this. I walked away from a well paid job when I had children and now sometimes wish that I could give my children the travel experiences that others can, knowing that it is only finances that prevent me from doing this. That said, my children get to see me around their school day and I get to see them. We have our moments but I wouldn’t swap back. I’m so very grateful for what my life is enriched with now. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with #Blogstravaganza .

    1. I just don’t think you can put a value on being present in your child’s live. Well done on making a brave and noble decision to put your kids first πŸ™‚

  10. Well done on making such a tough decision but I’m sure you will be rewarded 10 fold Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week

  11. #thesatsesh ooo i love this post too! I think you have all the answers…its not jealousy thats your issues. its patience.
    I listened to a Wayne Dyer podcast today and he said that ‘infinite self belief and patience is the key to success’ the ‘infinite’ bit make be frustrating and almost seem ironic, but its so true. I believe in you.

  12. I made a decision when I became a mum & quit my job as a newspaper editor to go freelance & therefore be a hands-on mum: while they’re small it isn’t about earning as much money as possible anymore, it’s about earning enough money to get by. Don’t beat yourself up about it & give yourself a break! #coolmumclub

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