I imagine this will turn into quite a confessional and meandering post.
I should be doing other pieces of work but there is nothing more cathartic for me than writing out about something that it is bothering me.
Today it is something that can rear it’s ugly head regularly if I don’t work hard to counter it.
What am I alluding to?
The scourge of the Green Eyed Monster!!
I have recently walked away from a very lucrative corporate job to pursue my dream of helping other Dads through the medium of Ideas4Dads.
I had no solid plan or income when I walked away from my job but I knew in my heart that I needed to go both for my own health and for the sake of keeping my family together.
To be true to myself and to enable me to be the hands on and involved Dad I have always wanted to be.
However, one of my afflictions in life is that of financial insecurity which links in with envy.
Walking away from a salaried corporate job with all the trimmings to having no income is hardly conducive to allaying these insecurities.
But I had to do it for the sake of my sanity and I know I won’t regret it.
And yet I can have days where I find my mind wandering.
Today has been one of those days.
Negative self talk tap tap tapping away in my head.
What have I done?
You’re not going to succeed!
You’re not good enough!!
Then my mind turns to comparing myself to others.
Oh the envy…..
That person has a larger house.
Has a nicer car.
Has larger alloys.
Is going on expensive holidays.
Is doing better than I am…..
This negative comparison list can go on ad infinitum.
With all that said and done I have to look at the positives of walking away from a corporate job that was demanding multiple pounds of flesh from me and the fact that I have been able to reboot my Dad experience and be present for my children.
We have had more special family moments in the last two months than we have had in the previous two years.
One surefire way I find that counters my envious thoughts is to write a daily gratitude list of all the great things I have in my life.
This daily practice really helps me to gain perspective and banish the feelings of envy.
Healthy children. A roof over our head. Food in the cupboards. Kids going to a great school. All our needs met. Money in the bank (despite me trying my best to think otherwise).
But my financial insecurities are screaming out that I don’t have an income even though I know if I keep doing the next right thing this will come.
If I just believe in myself.
We have savings to cover our overheads for a bit but I need to be generating an income from this blog.
But then there is the fear of failure (and success) with trying to make Ideas4Dads a success – but I think that’s a topic for another post ;-).
Do you suffer from the affliction of the Green Eyed Monster?
What do you do to tackle thoughts of envy when they rear their ugly head?
As always it would be great to hear from you with your comments below 🙂
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