The changing faces of parenthood.
I always thought the phrase ‘Loving yourself’ described something negative.
That it in someway implied that one was arrogant and self-obsessed.
However, for me learning to love myself has been a bumpy journey but something I have come to learn is very important to leading a happy and fulfilled life.
This has been especially true during my journey as a parent.
Growing up in a disrupted alcoholic household has left me with many hangovers as an adult.
One of these is the fear that history will repeat itself and my children will experience the same fate I did of a violent and chaotic upbringing.
All I have ever wanted in life is to have children.
To be the best Dad I can possibly be.
I did not factor in that my childhood would come back to haunt me.
That the violent experiences I endured as a child would cause me to have flashbacks.
The screaming of my own children causing me to regress back to a helpless child and feel totally inadequate.
Thankfully, I have come to learn that I have experienced a combination of PTSD from my childhood and Post Natal depression.
This leads me on to the photos above.
They say a picture speaks a 1000 words and the above certainly tells a story.
The first (left) was taken shortly after the traumatic birth of our third daughter in 2014. The pressures of me not coping with two daughters had already started to take it’s toll and I am not exactly a picture of health.
The second (middle) was taken in 2016 and to say I don’t look happy would be an understatement. The pressures of three children evident.
The third (right) was taken recently. Despite taking the leap of faith and walking away from my corporate job with no solid plan other than I want to write for a living and help other parents, I have never felt happier (albeit with a healthy dose of fear thrown in).
Today I work hard to be kind to myself and love the person I am through eating well, exercising regularly and ensuring I have time to myself.
Life is a marathon not a sprint and learning to treat myself with love and kindness is something that I need to constantly remind myself of the important of.
Do you struggle to be kind to yourself?
What things do you do practice self care and be kind to yourself?
As always it would be great to hear from you with your comments below 🙂
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