Parenting Work Life & Personal Effectiveness

Am I now a Stay At Home Dad (SAHD)?

Stay at home dad SAHD
When does one class themselves as a bonafide Stay At Home Dad?

I have been thinking quite a lot recently.

About many different things.

Which is never a good thing when you have a mind that often resembles a box of fireworks all going off at once.

But since walking away from my corporate job to focus on being the best Dad I can be, I have been pondering about a label that I don’t know whether I fit neatly into.

That is the label of a Stay at Home Dad or SAHD for short (although I’m never a fan of acronyms that implicate you are sad or indeed have some sort of condition for that matter).

I’ve also never been a big fan of labels full stop.

In fact when The Inbetweeners first aired I felt for the first time I had found my tribe!

You see I’ve always resisted being labelled, opting rather to be a ‘Label Floater’, whether it be during my career, within sports teams or a particular social grouping.

So the question I’m coming to is…….what actually qualifies to describe oneself as a Stay At Home Dad?

I have commonly seen Dads class themselves as a Stay At Home Dad when they are the primary full-time carer whilst their children have yet to start school, whilst their significant other is the primary earner.

Wikipedia defines a Stay at Home Dad as:

stay-at-home dad (alternatively, stay at home fatherhouse dadSAHDhousehusband, or house-spouse) is a father who is the main caregiver of the children and is generally the homemaker of the household. As families have evolved, the practice of being a stay-at-home dad has become more common and socially acceptable.

Which in my mind is clear-cut.

Sadly circumstances (or foresight) did not present themselves for me to jack in my corporate job whilst at least one of our three children was not at school and for my wife to return to work.

Although I did manage to convince my old employers to allow me to work a condensed 9-day fortnight to allow me to take every other Friday off to spend it with my middle and youngest daughters before they started school (which is something I am very proud to have done).

Anyway I digress.

This leads me on to my present predicament.

Our youngest daughter (of three) starts school this Thursday.

Therefore all three daughters will be safely ensconced within the great British education system.

I have just jacked in my job to focus primarily on being a Dad whilst starting to blog professionally and work as a freelance copywriter (from home), around our three daughter’s (8, 6 & 4yo) school and extra curricular activities.

At the same time my wife is going to return to work as a teacher to provide our family with some income.

Although the finer details are still be finalised I will also be taking on a lot more of responsibilities around running the home.

Is this enough to bestow me with the noble label of Stay at Home Dad?

Can you still be a Stay At Home Dad once all the kids have started school?

The honest answer is I’m not sure?

Would welcome your thoughts as I really don’t want to fraudulently join any more SAHD facebook groups!

What do you think defines a Stay at Home Dad?

Do you class yourself as a Stay at Home Dad?

As always it would be great to hear from you with your comments below 🙂

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24 thoughts on “Am I now a Stay At Home Dad (SAHD)?”

  1. I’m not an expert but I do think working from home and being the parent who works around children’s schedules sounds like a crazy hard working dad. Kudos! Surely “stay-at-home” dad is a title you deserve. Let’s face it when your child gets sick at school, you’ll be the parent receiving the call and picking them up.

  2. Well I suppose the question is, will you be ‘staying home’ a Lot? If the answer is no, then no, you are not a stay at home dad. Seriously though, does it matter? You are a parent/working blogger/husband. I think labels are outdated. As parents, we do so much than stay at home or work full time. Good luck to your wife. I’m working full time as a teacher this Academic year. #dreamteam

    1. Thank you and so true – for us with three children it is very much like a military operation managing the post school activities, homework, spellings….the list goes on!

  3. You can call yourself one if you want to be. I often refer to myself as a part time SAHD because when my wife is in work I have our daughter alone for 14 hours – she’s a nurse – so those days I’m most certainly the main caregiver.

    But yeah, you don’t have to worry about the label. I guess once the kids are in school you can still be a SAHD but it’s not like you have to do as much as the pre-school years.

    1. Completely agree about there being a lighter load now youngest is at school and I guess that was a key contributor to me feeling like a bit of a fraud. Anyway I have now settled on the title Chief Mischief Maker which I think sums me up beautifully 😉

  4. hahahahahahahhahahahhah. I mean let me start that again: hahahahahahahahahahaha. No really, hahahahahahahaha.

    It’s the parenting question with no answer. There is no Government definition for a sahd or sahm. It’s not a term I’ve not really used over the past year since my youngest started school. I just go with calling myself “the main carer” of my kids. Interestingly, I used to have a part time job that took me out the house 3.5 days a week. Even when I worked part time, other people labelled me a SAHD. it didn’t quite sit comfortably with me but the label just stuck!

  5. I’m a work from home mum, with 5 month old twins, a toddler and two needy cats; it’s hard to find time to work but it happens somehow! I guess if you’re working from home too you’re a work from home dad? Considering my working day at the office meant waking at 6 and returning 12 hours later; I currently wake up at 8ish and put the laptop away at 11pm, so it’s a lot harder and stressful but oh so worth it!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #triumphanttales. I hope to see you back next week!

  6. Hi Tom, that’s a tricky one. I’m not keen on labels either, but you stay at home (even if you are working) and you are a Dad, so that would make you a SAHD. Unless the SAH refers to not being employed in any way or form, in which case maybe you’re not (but you still stay at home and you’re still a Dad)… That’s the tricky thing about labels, they conjure up ‘boxes’ and if you don’t fit what then? I prefer to be a floater too. Labels are like tight jumpers, far too restricting.

    Thank you for linking up with #keepingitreal.


    1. Love the analogy of a tight jumper. At the end of the day it just doesn’t matter. I think flexible working Dad may be another label 🙂

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