With the holiday season approaching it’s time to dust off those sunhats and suitcases and prepare yourselves for the madness of that summer package holiday where one or more of the following are bound to happen to you:
- Your stupid o’clock flight in the early hours of the morning will provide the perfect opportunity for your brood to exhibit their budding vocal talents…..at the dismay of the surrounding sneering OAPs who look like they have just been dug up and whose obvious dementia prevents them from recalling the challenges of owning and running a young family
- Filled with holiday euphoria you’ll go out of your way on the first day to strike up conversation with fellow parent holidaymakers, quickly realise they are t@#ts and then spend the rest of your holiday evading them at all costs
- One of the aforementioned will take great pleasure in repeatedly telling you how they paid half the price of what you paid for your holiday #F@#kers
- It will be an absolute requirement to showcase your appalling daddy dancing skills as you are called up as a ‘Willing Volunteer’ during the evening entertainment
- After the 5th evening’s repetitive rendition of the cringe worthy child entertainment you will be begging for the home sanctity of the cBeebies channel and the sedative effect of a packet of jaffa cakes
- One of the hotel waiters will almost certainly take a shine to your wife and make you realise just how much parenthood has pummelled the romantic out of you (hang on was I ever romanitc…)
- You will experience at least two swim nappy failures resulting in a ‘Brown Cloud Incident’ engulfing,on both occasions, the same lovely couple you were happily talking to just seconds before #GroundSwallowMeUpPlease
- As you discover the kids have added ‘A Bit of Colour’, by colouring in the pristine white bed sheets, you can’t help but feel pride at their ninja like Da Vinci skills
- You will relent and be guilt tripped into buying bright plastic/tat whose novelty wears off after 5 minutes resulting in the cycle of tantrum/negotiation starting over
- Make the vow that next year will be much better with the kids a year older, knowing full well that as you cry yourself to sleep you have at least another ten years of this to look forward to….
**Disclaimer: I can neither confirm nor deny that I simply walked away without telling any of the lifeguards after the second #BrownCloudEvent
Do you enjoy going abroad with your kids? What are your top tips on surviving a family package holiday?
What’s the funniest thing that has happened to you whilst on holiday?
As always it would be great to hear from you with your comments 🙂
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