‘Of course I can feed all three girls and put them to bed, no probs you go and have your meeting in London’ I nonchalantly replied to High Command’s request for an evening off.
I am sitting here in the kitchen, staring at the kids snack draw and trying to resist the urge to drown my sorrows in a bucket of jaffa cakes and strawberry laces.
You see I have just survived something that I have never done before. Namely do the evening dinner and bedtime routine with all three
shits girls. Up until now what with one thing and another the opportunity has not presented itself for me to fly solo.
Until today that is.
What can I say……well to quote one of my all time favourite films ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’
“Its been emotional”.
It all started so well and then just deteriorated rapidly into a screaming ball of three girls becoming little shits.
I finished work early to dash home and take over from Nana and Grandpa and that is when the fun and games commcnced!
So without further ado here are my ten confessions from doing the PM routine:
- After careful consideration I opted to not enforce the no TV at the dinner table rule
- Rather than cause a scene I allowed them to drink our finest Vimto cordial reserved only for grown ups #SellingSoulToTheChildren’sDevil
- Note to self for the future (if indeed I do survive the sugar overdose I am currently cramming into my gob) to lock the dog out of the lounge to avoid the Jawsesque scene where she swiped half of the girls dinner off the table
- When I’m on duty its perfectly acceptable to give them 8 malted milk biscuits for their pudding to keep them on ‘mute’ setting
- At the mere smidgen of the suggestion that middle daughter had stomach ache, the big guns were rolled out in the form of a Calpol #FirstStrike
- The rumour that three crying screaming kids in a bath is something of beautiful harmony is in fact balls@#t and is quite possibly the most distressing thing I have ever experienced
- The age old jedi mind trick of turning over two pages of the reading book at a time was employed #UnashamedDaddy
- I put them to bed with wet hair…that is all
- Finally……I don’t know if it is just the years of parental attrition and fatigue, coupled with having a very busy and demanding job, but I salute anyone who has to do this everyday 🙂
How do you find the bedtime routine? What are your top tips and tricks for getting your little ones to bed? Do you find it hard to switch from work to parent mode in a heartbeat upon walking through the door?
As always would love to hear your stories and don’t forget to check us out on our twitter, instagram facebook community pages.
**Disclaimer: as of all of the above wasn’t bad enough I finally cracked when I thought the little
shits madams were in bed, there was a scream from middle daughter from the top of the stairs, stating that I must put all the teddies back in her bed that High Command had turfed out after changing her sheets. It was at this point that I muttered under my breath ‘For F@$k sake is nothing ever good enough’…..to which she said ‘What does f@$k mean Daddy?’. Never done that before and needless to say not my proudest parenting moment**